Dear Matthias,
Hello my name is Rebecca and I am from Southampton. I have read your letter and it is very interesting. So now I am going to describe planet Earth.
Planet Earth is very cool even though it is crowded with people. The weathert is always raining but it is sometimes sunny. But there is one problem, we can't fit all of you Aliens in Southampton because like I said it is crowded with people, so we can have you and two other aliens.
Us people go to parks, clubs and other places. Our parents go to work while we go to school and college.
Best wishes
Becky
Friday, 5 September 2008
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4 comments:
Hi Rebecca, glad you described earth as cool.
I liked the way you started with a friendly comment and said straight away that you came from Southampton. Also way you praised the aliens letter as being very interesting.
Think you could have added a bit more detail to the parks and clubs part as im sure that would have added interest.
Thank you for your comment - I am sure it will certainly help Rebecca to improve her writing.
I was impressed by the varied use of connectives in this letter Rebecca, what a great start to the year!
This letter is very informative.
although she struggled a bit with her ideas and i know because she sits next to me in class.
so once again well done bexter.
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